I'm driving home covered in donut frosting. Ska Punk show blares cover songs as i go. Nothin beats drivin with the radio so loud you cant hear yourself sing. Oh look! A happy squirrel in the road! I speed up to avoid it, and he happily sampers away. Earlier tonight, I picked up Ewan, Shannon and The Kpt. After driving to numerous pointless locations, including the Guadalupe Mall (Kpt. Quote) aka The Wall Mart, we finally decided on Krispy Kreme. As we pull up to the drive thru, i was struck with a horrible butt cramp, and had to stop the car while flailing wildly and screaming, "Oh my butt!!! Sweet jesus!!! Oh god why!!! Luckily, the drive thru guy heard my cries and offered his ASSistance.................."Welcome to Krispy Kreme, how may i take your order?" Well, almost so as is the custom of my friends while ordering, they changed their minds all the time and talked all at once until i finally ordered what i think they said. Half glazed, half Chocolate, says I. I literally roll up to the order window since the Kpt., smart bastard that he is, has discovered the radio and is now blasting Ludacris' Pussy Pop. Beet red, I hand el pirata david's bank card. I call him el pirata out of affection becase he was indeed a stone-faced mexican with an eye patch. We drive back to the tuke where Ewan discovers that... Oh nos!! Teh niggras have switched my donuts!! In a fit of bipolar rage, the hoinkie tosses his napkins at my head and stomps off into the darkness... i.e. his fancy cheezin honky house. the kpt turns wisedley to woman and says fuck him free donuts. so we drive to the roland house. outside we sit with the smallest roland and talk of things. the kpt takes of the offending donut and decides it would tatse better on my pants. so i respond generosity by stuffing a donut up his shirt for i thought his nipples looked better glazed. Needless to say, half a box of donuts now has to be removed from my pant legs. so i drive the fucker home. i get home, lie face down on my bed, and right before my insomnia can kick me back awake, i am stricken with yet another horrible butt cramp. Life's a bitch and im covered in donuts.
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